I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
