i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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