I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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