Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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