He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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