I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
