McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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