so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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