i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
