Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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