so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed