I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that