it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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