There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
