I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Text me some of your sweat
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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