just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
