well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
