didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
