I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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