Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
did i just pee glitter
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize