oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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