Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
