I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
