I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
