And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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