i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
