What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
