do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
