the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize