Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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