yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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