Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
