I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize