there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
