We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
