hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
