My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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