Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
