does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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