Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
