Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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