I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!