I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition