im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
