I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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