I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
PANTIES FOUND
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