its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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