U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what day is it and did you see me today?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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