I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
