thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
