i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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