i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
