watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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