Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I enjoy the company of your penis
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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