i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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